Saturday, February 18, 2006

One Word

Today's One Word is: Hush

hush, she thought, looking at the bare indian man sitting on the edge of her bed. look at me, one last time, but don't speak. it'll ruin the will ruin the solitude of the melding mortal serenity. just wait in silence, eyes fixed on each other, it reflects the pain so well, knowing this will be the last time she holds him. but we're not done. we are connected....hush, she tells him, putting her hand over his mouth, don't think, just feel. express me.

Friday, February 17, 2006

old posts

lmao my brother is a fucking loon. I'm looking through my old Xanga and I found this shit.

Joey: do you know any black folk?
squishedlizard: black folk? lmao. Where are we? South Carolina?
Joey: lol not yet
squishedlizard: hahaha
Joey: but do you know any?
squishedlizard: yeah.
Joey: do they all have low riders?
squishedlizard: lol no
Joey: ok
Joey: i love me some good respectable black folk

liz@hidden:~$ lol
-bash: lol: command not found

x: blue balls is a myth in my book
squishedlizard: huh.
squishedlizard: I've known guys w/ blue balls.
x: how do you mean? the color?
squishedlizard: well, yes...that too.
squishedlizard: But not what I was talking about.

I forgot about these ideas for my comic. I'm glad I wrote them down.

Jumbolieya. Haven't decided if he's a fish or a frog. But either way, he has magical powers. He might be a dif. creature all together. He might even be somewhat human. Yes, I think so. I think he is human. And the way you summon him is by screaming JUMBOLIEYA, and he appears. He has a friend:

Ubuntu. (yes, I stole the name...) Is a frog and his magical powers lie in his wig. e looks like gandalf because of his magical white wig. That's what he does. He kind of reads fortunes.

Ubuntu & Jumbolieya are friends, and they go around together helping people.

But they have to help, over and over again, this caracter called Hard-On, (or something equal to that) who aways asks why he smells like Broccoli. One day, he discovers his mom's corpse, in the kitchen, surrounded by Broccoli, and he has an epiphiny.

In addition to Hard-On, we have Cocksocker... not the cocksocker you're thinking of who runs around punching people in the balls, but the midget who runs around, breaking into peoples houses at nights, with his lock picking set and a hot glue gun, gluing socks on people's dicks.

One word

Today's OneWord is: Unfold

quietly she sits and waits looking for the truth. calmly she wonders when it's going to unfold inside her mind. it's hard, she realizes, to have clarity when all around you is mud. emotions or maybe strangled dreams fight with the desire and the feelings to abandon all that is beautiful and sacred, but she waits just the same for that phone call, or maybe surprise visit that will redeam her soul from a lifetime of enlightenment.

Fred's Flowers

Fred got me good on V-day. lol Well, not V-day. I was sick and in bed all day on Valentine's Day. But yesterday I went to see him, and he walked me home last night. I walked into my room, and I don't have a light switch in my room. I just have a lamp, and I was fumbling around in the dark. I looked at my chair and thought "I didn't put that stuff there" and then to my bed and thought "I didn't make my bed....I'm not that sick..." and I turned on my light. He made my bed, and sitting on my bed are two bouquets of flowers, and in between them, is my teddy bear resting on a box of chocolate.

I went to my grandmother and said "What the hell happened to my room?!" I was sooooo un suspecting. I didn't know for sure if Fred was the one who did that or not because it's like my mom to do something like that to fuck with me. There was no note or anything. No card.

I called him up and I said "You're a sneaky fucking bastard you know that?" and I heard Danielle in the background say "He's sneaky? You came into the house while we were sleeping and engineered a scavenger hunt!"

Thursday, February 16, 2006

iTunes on Shuffle

I fucking love this....

I never before put iTunes on shuffle....not my whole library anyway, just playlists. I like this. This is so cool. I have over 1660 songs, so it's like having a radio station of things that I like. It's pretty sweet.

What was played so far today:

Dean Martin - I Left My Heart (In San Francisco)
Creedence - Cotton Fields
Robert Johnson - Hell Hound On My Tail
Static X - The Only
Thrill Kill Kult - Sex On Wheels
Billy Joel - Piano Man
John Lee Hooker - I Got A Good Un
The Commadores - Brick House
Bee Gee's - Stayin' Alive
Seal - Crazy
Sade - The Sweetest Taboo
Nina Simone - Ain't Got No
Kid Koala - I Like My Beats
KMFDM - Mysterious Ways
Deftones - Roots
Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash
Jet - Are You Going To Be My Girl
Deftones - RX Queen
Rage Against The Machine - Fist Full of Steel
Metallica - One
INXS - New Sensation
Slayer - Jesus Saves
James Taylor - Carolina In My Mind
John Williams - Revenge Of The Sith
Garth Brooks - Much Too Young

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

random spam

From: "Cathryn Cornelius"
Subject: Fucking St.Valentine

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially
in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the
medication and that is all you are to do!

Do not kill the clock!

Favourite Bushism's

"I don't have a calendar on my desk, that beautiful desk, that says, by such-and-such a date, you will be finished. That's not how I think."

"I, I don't know -- Bono came in and dropped this new iPod off... Lightweight. Crank it on, and you shuffle the shuffle."

"I think [Ambassador Zoellick] deserves a lot of credit. But don't give him any until he describes exactly what he did to you."

"You know, it's amazing, when people say to me, well, he was just breaking the law. If I wanted to break the law, why the hell was I briefin' Congress? Heh!"

"So that's how I view the 59th session of the U.N. General Assembly. It's an honor to be here. It's great to see mis amigos, my friends."

"Some say give it [the Federal Budget Surplus] to the taxpayers who pay the bills. That some is George W. Bush."

"My pro-life position is I believe there's life. It's not necessarily based in religion. I think there's a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness."

"Not only do I want you to remember September the 11th, but I want you to think about Indonesia, and the attack on our Marines in Kuwait, the attack on a French freighter. I mean, they're out there. And the only way to deal with them -- and by the way, I've come to the conclusion, and I hope you have, that therapy is not going to work."

"As you can probably see I was injured myself, not here at the hospital but in combat with a cedar tree. I eventually won."

Rob Hahn: Holy shit, this man needs duct tape.


Man, that'd suck.
Cheney victim has mild heart attack after shotgun pellets travels to his heart

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (AP) - The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident suffered a mild heart attack after a shotgun pellet in his chest traveled to his heart, hospital officials said.

Harry Whittington was immediately moved back to the intensive care unit and will be watched for a week to make sure more of the metal pellets do not reach other vital organs. He was reported in stable condition.

Whittington suffered a "silent heart attack" Tuesday obstructed blood flow, but without the classic heart-attack symptoms of pain and pressure, according to doctors at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial in Texas.

The doctors said they decided to treat the situation conservatively and leave the pellet alone rather than operate to remove it. They said they are highly optimistic Whittington will recover and live a healthy life with the pellet in him.

Asked whether the pellet could move farther into his heart and become fatal, hospital officials said that was a hypothetical question they could not answer.

Hospital officials said they were not concerned about the six to 200 other tiny pieces of birdshot that might still be lodged in Whittington's body.

Cheney watched the news conference where doctors described Whittington's complications. Then the vice president called him, wished him well and asked if there was anything that he needed.

"The vice president said that he stood ready to assist. Mr. Whittington's spirits were good, but obviously his situation deserves the careful monitoring that his doctors are providing," the vice president's office said in a statement.

Cheney, an experienced hunter, has not spoken publicly about the accident, which took place Saturday night while the vice president was aiming for a quail. Critics of President George W. Bush's administration called for more answers from Cheney himself.

Whittington has said through hospital officials that he does not want to comment on the shooting. A young man at Whittington's Austin home who identified himself as his grandson said Tuesday he did not have time to talk to a reporter and closed the door.

The furor over the accident and the White House delay in making it public are "part of the secretive nature of this administration," said Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada. "I think it's time the American people heard from the vice president."

Before hospital officials announced details of Whittington's condition, the hunting accident had produced a raft of Cheney jokes on late-night television.

Hospital officials said they knew that Whittington had some birdshot near his heart and that there was a chance it could move closer since scar tissue had not had time to harden and hold the pellet in place.

After Whittington developed an irregular heartbeat, doctors performed a cardiac catheterization, in which a thin, flexible tube is inserted into the heart, to diagnose his condition, said Peter Banko, the administrator at the hospital.

The shot was either touching or embedded in the heart muscle near the top chambers, called the atria, officials said. Two things resulted:

It caused inflammation that pushed on the heart in a way to temporarily block blood flow, what the doctors called a "silent heart attack." This is not a traditional heart attack where an artery is blocked. They said Whittington's arteries, in fact, were healthy.

It irritated the atria, caused an irregular heartbeat known as atrial fibrillation, which is not immediately life-threatening. But it must be treated because it can spur blood clots to form. Most cases can be corrected with medication.

White House physicians helped advise on the course of treatment, hospital officials said.

Texas officials said the shooting was an accident and no charges were brought against the vice president.

A Texas Parks and Wildlife Department report issued Monday said Whittington was retrieving a downed bird and stepped out of the hunting line he was sharing with Cheney. "Another covey was flushed and Cheney swung on a bird and fired, striking Whittington in the face, neck and chest at approximately 30 yards (27.4 meters)," the report said.


Associated Press Writer Nedra Pickler contributed to this report from Washington.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


While I was slacking off from work last night, Frank and I ended up spending a few hours chatting in a mini-mart with Mike. Somehow, we got on the topic of sex, and Mike mentioned hearing about a drive through brothel. While I haven't been able to find any specific locations on said drive-through brothel, through hours of google, I was able to asertian that most drive through brothels are in Holland.

However, if you're ever in Vienna and feeling frisky, you should call Erotik-Taxi. This mobile brothel sends out a black Cadillac at the high cost of $250 per hour. This service comes with a chauffer, call-girl/boy, porn, and condoms. The taxi takes a spin around Vienna showing you all the wonderful sites of the city, although I can't imagine the people inside would be paying too much attention to the sights. Vienna Erotik Taxi is owned by, and is hard to find if you're not in Vienna.

"They're busy making out en route, they haven't got time to take in the sights," said the manager of Vienna Erotik Taxi and the Sweet Dreams escort and modelling agency, who asked to be identified only as Albert. "People come to us because we offer a thrilling alternative to sex at home or in a hotel," he said. Most of the clients are businessmen, who use the service to pick them up at the airport or ferry them around the city between appointments. With the going rate for a house call at $180 an hour, Albert feels his service offers good value at only $70 more. - Reuters

In other news, in an archelogical dig in 1999 archaelogists found the remains of a 19th century brothel owned by Mary Hall only 4 blocks from Capitol Hill in Washington DC.

The first substantial dwelling in Reservation C was a large, three-story, brick dwelling erected in Lot 12 by Mary Ann Hall. According to census records, Hall was a single woman who was in her early twenties at the time she built this large dwelling. The 1840 census indicated that she lived in the house with four other women who were also in their twenties, a free black woman in her late twenties or early thirties, and a black male between the ages of 10 and 24 who was a slave. Although it is not stated in the census, later documentation verifies that Mary Ann Hall was a prostitute, and her large house was a brothel.Mary Ann Hall built her brothel in a convenient location near the U.S. Capitol Building in a city known for its large population of transient men who came from all over the country, usually unaccompanied by women, to transact business in the national capital.

Tax records show that Mary Hall prospered during her first decade in business, the value of her property doubling between 1840 and 1850 and her personal property increasing by more than thirty percent.

Although little published information survives about Mary Ann Hall's brothel or about prostitution in general in nineteenth-century Washington, Hall probably operated her establishment in a manner similar to the high-class "parlor houses" common in New York City at the time. The typical parlor house served men of wealth and distinction in a discreet and elegant environment, each transaction beginning with a shared bottle of champagne provided, at an exorbitant price, by the house. The prostitutes who worked in these houses were noted for their youth, beauty, and social refinement.

In a rare nineteenth-century publication entitled Mysteries and Miseries of America's Great Cities, a full chapter is devoted to illicit activities in Washington, D.C. In the book, the author implies that the nature of Washington as the national capital offered high-class prostitutes additional business opportunities, because they could be hired to use their charms to influence the passage of particular laws on the floors of Congress. If they succeeded, they were rewarded handsomely by the corporate interests who derived benefits from the legislation (Figure 3). - NMAI


Okay, so I got bored and thinking of Frank's birthday gift, I started checking out dildos. I found this rabbit one that looks like it has rabbit ears. And I found this one called:

Hi-Tech Lickin' Lizard.

Decription: Get Licked and LOVE IT!

* Ridged Jelly Shaft Rotates!
* Flicking Tongue Excites Clitoris!
* Swirling Pearls Stroke Vaginal Lips!
* Micro-Chip = Custom Orgasms!

It's a dildo....with a MICRO CHIP inside it. Now, maybe it's just me, but this seems like an incredible waste of technology. We can put micro chips in dildos, but we can't make a robot that will take verbal orders and clean the house. Maybe it's just me, but seems like our society has priorities a little screwed up...they'd rather cum than have a clean house.

Monday, February 13, 2006

American Dad Quotes Episode 208

Roger wants to be famous and loved - So does Stan - Steve didn't care too much for it at first, but hey, everyone loves fame and blind love from the ignorant masses, right?

Also, putting an entire innocent family on the ground at gunpoint is just PRECIOUS!

Francine just wants to look good...

"If I American't teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameriwill!"

"Bush appoints Stephen King as administrator of terrorism."

Stan - "MY GOD Francine, your roots are showing!"
Francine - "I know. My hairdresser lost his touch when he decided he's straight. Apparently it is a choice."

lol Stan is getting held up by a clown with a knife that's hitting on him.

Steve "I had rooms full of girl on girl action." and you see these two girls in bras playing chess.

Okay, I just saw an ape in a kilt playing the bag pipes.

this made my day


U.S. vice president Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter in Texas

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (AP) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.

Harry Whittington, a millionaire attorney from Austin, was in stable condition in the intensive care unit of a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday.

"He is stable and doing well. It was almost like he was spending time with me in my living room," said hospital administrator Peter Banko, who visited Whittington.

Banko said Whittington was in the intensive care unit because his condition warranted it, but he didn't elaborate. Whittington sent word through a hospital official that he would have no comment on the incident out of respect for Cheney.

The accident occurred Saturday at a ranch in south Texas where the vice president and several companions were hunting quail. It was not reported publicly by the vice president's office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported locally by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.

Katharine Armstrong, the ranch's owner, said Sunday that Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun and that Whittington was about 30 yards (meters) away when he was hit in the cheek, neck and chest.

Each of the hunters was wearing a bright orange vest at the time, Armstrong told reporters at the ranch about 60 miles (100 kilometers) southwest of Corpus Christi. She said Whittington was "alert and doing fine."

"He is very, very lucky that nothing seriously was injured," Sally Whittington said in a story in Sunday's online edition of The Dallas Morning News. She said her father was being observed because of swelling from some of the welts on his neck.

"It looks like chicken pox, kind of," she said of her father's face.

Armstrong told The Associated Press emergency personnel traveling with Cheney tended to Whittington before an ambulance routinely on call because of the vice president's presence took him to a hospital in Kingsville. From there, Whittington was flown by helicopter to Corpus Christi about 40 miles (65 kilometers) away.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president met with Whittington at the hospital on Sunday. Cheney "was pleased to see that he's doing fine and in good spirits," she said.

Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shoot at a covey of quail.

Whittington shot a bird and went to retrieve it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong said.

"The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

Whittington has been a private practice attorney in Austin since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. He's been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.

McBride said the vice president's office did not tell reporters about the accident Saturday because they were deferring to Armstrong to handle the announcement of what happened on her property. Armstrong called the local paper about the incident on Sunday.

Armstrong, owner of the Armstrong Ranch where the accident occurred, said Whittington was bleeding after he was shot and Cheney was very apologetic.

"It broke the skin," she said of the shotgun pellets. "It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that.

"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

Cheney is an avid hunter who makes annual trips to South Dakota to hunt pheasants. He also travels frequently to Arkansas to hunt ducks, among other places.

Armstrong said Cheney is a longtime friend who comes to the ranch to hunt about once a year and is "a very safe sportsman." She said Whittington is a regular, too, but she thought it was the first time the two men hunted together.

"This is something that happens from time to time. You know, I've been peppered pretty well myself," said Armstrong.

The 50,000-acre (20,000-hectare) Armstrong ranch has been in the influential south Texas family since the turn of the last century. Katharine is the daughter of Tobin Armstrong, a politically connected rancher who has been a guest at the White House and spent 48 years as director of the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association. He died in October. Cheney was among the dignitaries who attended his funeral.

Cheney was legally hunting with a license he purchased in November, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department spokesman Steve Lightfoot said. The vice president flew back to Washington on Sunday evening, according to his office.


Nedra Pickler reported from Washington. Associated Press writer Paul J. Weber in Dallas contributed to this report.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

long story short, I was in the hospital Friday night because of my heart. I'm alright. Surgery is an option, as is medicine. I need to meet with the cardiologist and decide what I'm going to do. *yawn* Fred left work half an hour early, and stayed with me the whole night I was there. I was kind of shocked, lol, to be honest. ^_^