fucked up dreams holy shit
Having a weird day, and mixing in an hour of Kurt Vonnegut before bed, and less caffeine than usual, make for some fucked up dreams. Perfectly consious dreams no less. I'm not sure how to explain it, but while I was dreaming I felt perfectly 100% awake and aware of my surroundings and the time, and what I was feeling, and how cold I was etc etc etc.
This one sticks out in my mind. There's been a series of dreams like this for the past 2 hours.
I was waiting for Mike at Giant. My grandmother was there inside...working, no less. She said that everytime we're in Giant Frank makes some joke saying he's shocked my boyfriend hasn't bent me over that counter. (frank's mom) She said that she didn't want us having sex in the house (even though we were just talking about sex at the grocery store...) cause she wasn't always around and wanted to make sure that she could trust us. That they're remodeling the house and she's going to be in and house and she really just doesn't want anything unchristian happening. She doesn't want any heathen great-grandchildren. I said "I haven't slept with anybody." and left off the quantifier of "in quite sometime."
So I grabed my Sobe No Fear, and walked outside. While waiting for Mike I walked past this car. This guy with bright orange hair....like ORANGE long and wiery fucking hair was bending over getting something out of his trunk. He twists up, and twists his head an an unnatural way, and his eyes get wide and kind of crazy and through his bright orange mustache, "Hey there WOMAN. I want to make a blood donation in light of your bad heart" and I start to walk away, and he pulls out an IV. I keep backing away, thinking "Where the fuck is Mike?"
My dream flashes to his dad's house. Mike's car is on a lift in the garage and he and his dad are underneith it and someone was asking me how long Mike and I have been together. I said "I'm not sure we're even officially dating. I just know we act like we're together, and as long as he's in the picture, I'm not going to be with anybody else."
Then it flashes back to Giant. And I open my new cell phone inside my pocket (I was wearing the same clothes I was wearing today) and dialed 911, and I wrapped my fingers more tightly around my mace, and then he keeps walking towards me with his eyes wide and head tilted like Stewie's from Family Guy and says to me, "I hope you don't mind if my donation is a little unprotected" and he holds up a broken condom. IN MY DREAM I think to meself "I should grab that knife of Frank's from under my mattress, but it's obvious I'm kind of out of my mind right now, and the other part of my mind would cut me." And then I wake up and think "I gotta get out of this bed."
One of the odd things is that in my dreams, at least tonight, they're silent, except for the small bits of dialogue. That is abnormal for me. There's usually noise. Rain, racheting screwdrivers, paper moving, wind, whatever is going on has noise. Just like real life. But not tonight.
Now I understand why I'm thinking of each of these things. The guy w/ the IV is because they've been taking lots of blood from me. - why he looked like he wants to rape me, I don't know. Maybe on a subconsious level I feel unattractive physically and sexually undesired and feel the only way I'm going to get laid in the near future is if I'm raped. I dunno. - The condom is because earlier in the shower I was thinking about how I have to have a pregnancy test done before my surgery. The head tilt because I was watching Family Guy earlier. Outside of Giant because that's where I was earlier. Waiting for Mike because I did that earlier. GG working @ Giant because she keeps telling me that I should work there...if she likes the place so much, then why doesn't she, ehn? The bright orange hair because I was thinking about my birth dad earlier and he used to have bright orange hair.
Being bent over the counter because...okay, this is a bit of an explaination:
There's this guy we know named Gary Cole. He went to school with Frank's mom. He goes into A+ when Mike is working and loiters and talks about how money is being depreciated and a dollar is only worth 10 cents and then how a dollar is only worth a penny for about an hour and a half. Mike's former roomate is working there and Gary absolutely hates the two of them. Not sure why he hates Mike aside from the fact that Mike is very vocal about thinking he's a retard. Isaac because Isaac turns up the music that Gary hates when Gary walks in the door and bitches about it. Well, earlier Mike was telling me that Gary said to him "So uh I hear you have a new girlfriend now. Uh, yeah, she tells me that she's your girlfriend" meaning me. "Uh, yeah, it's not word of mouth cause she told me that she's your girlfriend. I don't approve, but whatever. If you wanna get drunk and fuck girls in the back room go right ahead" And Mike's like "back room?" "I didn't say anything about the back room. Screw the back room. Do it right here on the counter. It's easy enough. Just bend her over. If you wanna get drunk and fuck girls that's your business. Better you than me."
Now I'm not positive I got the wording on Gary's statments right, but that's pretty damned close.
Furthermore, tonight the shadows in my room look different from usual. AND it's a lot brighter than usual. It's usually very dark, but it wasn't. And I keep going to sleep and forgetting things. It's sort of like I have been blacking out. It's weird. I remember putting down "Timequake" and I remember lying down trying to get comfortable. I also remember the light being on for this. 10 minutes later, my eyes fly open and I am flipping out because my light is off and I don't recall doing that. I still don't recall doing it. It bothers me. The shadows have been weird and creepy. I look towards my closet and there's the shadow of a person on my ceiling, and he is moving a little bit. It's weird.
The really weird part is that while this is one of the strangest nights I've had trying to fall asleep, I completely understand every aspect of my dream. Every little bit. I do. That's not normal for me, and while I feel sort of out of my head, I feel perfectly in my element at the same time. I dunno. Fuck it. This just sucks...a lot. I'm very tired.
Odd night....it really is....And every time I woke up, I started to fall back asleep, and I kept thinking - while I was half awake/half asleep: "sleep isn't good....I'm out of my mind right now......." or "why is that person on my ceiling staring at me?" "am I'm sure I'm alone in here? Doesn't matter...just go to sleep....if someone kills me while I'm sleeping, hey...I'm dead. And if I'm not, I'll be rested. This can only be a good situation...someone can try to kill me....but my new cell phone has anti-theft protection...i can kick some ass....am I sure I turned off my light? who turned off my light?"
This is the most insane I've felt in a very long time. I wish I could describe it more accurately. Gonna attempt this sleep thing again though....
Oh, and let it be noted that I *never* talk to Gary Cole about anything, let alone telling him I'm Mike's girlfriend.
This one sticks out in my mind. There's been a series of dreams like this for the past 2 hours.
I was waiting for Mike at Giant. My grandmother was there inside...working, no less. She said that everytime we're in Giant Frank makes some joke saying he's shocked my boyfriend hasn't bent me over that counter. (frank's mom) She said that she didn't want us having sex in the house (even though we were just talking about sex at the grocery store...) cause she wasn't always around and wanted to make sure that she could trust us. That they're remodeling the house and she's going to be in and house and she really just doesn't want anything unchristian happening. She doesn't want any heathen great-grandchildren. I said "I haven't slept with anybody." and left off the quantifier of "in quite sometime."
So I grabed my Sobe No Fear, and walked outside. While waiting for Mike I walked past this car. This guy with bright orange hair....like ORANGE long and wiery fucking hair was bending over getting something out of his trunk. He twists up, and twists his head an an unnatural way, and his eyes get wide and kind of crazy and through his bright orange mustache, "Hey there WOMAN. I want to make a blood donation in light of your bad heart" and I start to walk away, and he pulls out an IV. I keep backing away, thinking "Where the fuck is Mike?"
My dream flashes to his dad's house. Mike's car is on a lift in the garage and he and his dad are underneith it and someone was asking me how long Mike and I have been together. I said "I'm not sure we're even officially dating. I just know we act like we're together, and as long as he's in the picture, I'm not going to be with anybody else."
Then it flashes back to Giant. And I open my new cell phone inside my pocket (I was wearing the same clothes I was wearing today) and dialed 911, and I wrapped my fingers more tightly around my mace, and then he keeps walking towards me with his eyes wide and head tilted like Stewie's from Family Guy and says to me, "I hope you don't mind if my donation is a little unprotected" and he holds up a broken condom. IN MY DREAM I think to meself "I should grab that knife of Frank's from under my mattress, but it's obvious I'm kind of out of my mind right now, and the other part of my mind would cut me." And then I wake up and think "I gotta get out of this bed."
One of the odd things is that in my dreams, at least tonight, they're silent, except for the small bits of dialogue. That is abnormal for me. There's usually noise. Rain, racheting screwdrivers, paper moving, wind, whatever is going on has noise. Just like real life. But not tonight.
Now I understand why I'm thinking of each of these things. The guy w/ the IV is because they've been taking lots of blood from me. - why he looked like he wants to rape me, I don't know. Maybe on a subconsious level I feel unattractive physically and sexually undesired and feel the only way I'm going to get laid in the near future is if I'm raped. I dunno. - The condom is because earlier in the shower I was thinking about how I have to have a pregnancy test done before my surgery. The head tilt because I was watching Family Guy earlier. Outside of Giant because that's where I was earlier. Waiting for Mike because I did that earlier. GG working @ Giant because she keeps telling me that I should work there...if she likes the place so much, then why doesn't she, ehn? The bright orange hair because I was thinking about my birth dad earlier and he used to have bright orange hair.
Being bent over the counter because...okay, this is a bit of an explaination:
There's this guy we know named Gary Cole. He went to school with Frank's mom. He goes into A+ when Mike is working and loiters and talks about how money is being depreciated and a dollar is only worth 10 cents and then how a dollar is only worth a penny for about an hour and a half. Mike's former roomate is working there and Gary absolutely hates the two of them. Not sure why he hates Mike aside from the fact that Mike is very vocal about thinking he's a retard. Isaac because Isaac turns up the music that Gary hates when Gary walks in the door and bitches about it. Well, earlier Mike was telling me that Gary said to him "So uh I hear you have a new girlfriend now. Uh, yeah, she tells me that she's your girlfriend" meaning me. "Uh, yeah, it's not word of mouth cause she told me that she's your girlfriend. I don't approve, but whatever. If you wanna get drunk and fuck girls in the back room go right ahead" And Mike's like "back room?" "I didn't say anything about the back room. Screw the back room. Do it right here on the counter. It's easy enough. Just bend her over. If you wanna get drunk and fuck girls that's your business. Better you than me."
Now I'm not positive I got the wording on Gary's statments right, but that's pretty damned close.
Furthermore, tonight the shadows in my room look different from usual. AND it's a lot brighter than usual. It's usually very dark, but it wasn't. And I keep going to sleep and forgetting things. It's sort of like I have been blacking out. It's weird. I remember putting down "Timequake" and I remember lying down trying to get comfortable. I also remember the light being on for this. 10 minutes later, my eyes fly open and I am flipping out because my light is off and I don't recall doing that. I still don't recall doing it. It bothers me. The shadows have been weird and creepy. I look towards my closet and there's the shadow of a person on my ceiling, and he is moving a little bit. It's weird.
The really weird part is that while this is one of the strangest nights I've had trying to fall asleep, I completely understand every aspect of my dream. Every little bit. I do. That's not normal for me, and while I feel sort of out of my head, I feel perfectly in my element at the same time. I dunno. Fuck it. This just sucks...a lot. I'm very tired.
Odd night....it really is....And every time I woke up, I started to fall back asleep, and I kept thinking - while I was half awake/half asleep: "sleep isn't good....I'm out of my mind right now......." or "why is that person on my ceiling staring at me?" "am I'm sure I'm alone in here? Doesn't matter...just go to sleep....if someone kills me while I'm sleeping, hey...I'm dead. And if I'm not, I'll be rested. This can only be a good situation...someone can try to kill me....but my new cell phone has anti-theft protection...i can kick some ass....am I sure I turned off my light? who turned off my light?"
This is the most insane I've felt in a very long time. I wish I could describe it more accurately. Gonna attempt this sleep thing again though....
Oh, and let it be noted that I *never* talk to Gary Cole about anything, let alone telling him I'm Mike's girlfriend.
posted by squishedlizard at 5:24 AM
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