hahaha updates

hahaha. Cool site.

Updated Mushroom Porn too.

poe, poe fishy....

I nearly lost my fishy today. :( My bowl tipped over in the kitchen and he came out. I nearly lost him!!! I wouldn't be shocked if he dies because of it. I love'd Loki. He's my fishy. And he was flopping around on the ground in a puddle of water and I tried to scoop him up and he kept flopping away. :( I'll be sad when my fishy dies. He's such a good lil' fishy. And ....yeah...

When I get my piggi...when I get Herbert, omg. I'm going to be fucking traumatized when Herbert dies.

Got 82 of my photographs on my site ready to sell. If you want to order a print, send an email over to: Admin@squishedlizard.net

Oh, so yesterday I walked into the kitchen to hear my boyfriend, my uncle, and my grandfather were saying something about beating me with a stick....

I think my grandfather said to Fred "here's a stick that you can beat her off with" and Fred said, "Nah, that's animal cruelty right there. I'll take a newspaper."

Papa said, "But what if she bites?" and I was standing at the fridge and replied, "I don't bite hard." They both laughed, and Pa said "You hear that? She doesn't bite...HARD! But she does bite." and said something about "broads....bah."

I wish I paid more attention. It was pretty funny.

In other news, my neck seized up again today. When I turn it too far to the right it hurts. Yay. This happened a few weeks ago and I went to the chiropractor. Turns out my vertibre is/was dislocated. He said it's probably from the years of skating and jiu jitsu. He fixed it, and I felt fine. And then I woke up this morning and I could't look to the right. So I've been rubbing it, and stretching it. That's pretty much all he did aside from the electro shock therapy. If it's still fucked up on Monday, I might go back to the chiropractor. I don't want to though because it's sort of a money issue, but this is retarded.

I told my grandmother at dinner that my neck hurts, and Pa said "who have you been necking with?!" and G2 says "Fred! He came into the house earlier and walked right into her bedroom. Didn't ask or anything!"

I know Pa's been defending me to G2 though. I'm not sure what exactly about, but I overheard, "She's 19 years old. You can't treat her like a kid. She knows what she's doing, and she knows how to find me or Frank if she gets into trouble."

Eh. I want out. I want out of this house. I love Frank and my grandfather....I even love G2, but after living "on my own" for as long as I did, moving back in with my family is so smothering. It's not nearly as bad when G2 isn't here. But she's nosey. And bitchy. And controling. Well, she tries to be. I remember one time I was at Fred and Dani's until late, and I came in, said to Pa, "I'm so sorry I didn't call and I wasn't home earlier!" I was so worried he'd be pissed at me, and he says, "You're 19. You don't have to tell me where you're going and exactly how long you're going to be. It's nice to know where you are hunni, but it's not a requirement, and you don't have to tell me how long you're going to be, or call if you're going to be out late." And then he gave me a hug.

He's been supportive of where I'm going, and all that. Hasn't bitched at me or anything. He knows I'm doing web design on the side, and he's glad I got my GED. He's seen me fill out job applications even. G2 sees all this and doesn't believe Web Design is a real job, and yeah, I got my GED. Whoppdy Fucking Do. She doesn't seem to care that much. And no matter how many applications she's seen me fill out, it's never enough. "You could work at Giant. They're hiring." Yeah, and I've applied. If they haven't called me yet, they aren't going to.

And that's okay. I think I'd probably kill some of the people who work there.

I spent most of my day feeling awful....like I'm going to puke, and I have a headache because of my neck, and my heart is all fucked up. *yawn* On top of that, my fucking wisdom teeth are coming in. Hurts like a bitch! Goddamn! This is just awful. It really is. I can feel it cutting through my gums. Some days are worse than others, but sometime the pain is so bad that it radiates throughout my head and throbs.

I know I'm swearing a lot, and I know that you don't like it Steve because you think there are better words I could be using...

but point blank, yeah, there are better words I could be using, but none of them give the same emphasis.

So Stevious, I'm sorry if it offends you or bothers you, or anything like that. Swearing is kind of part of who I am. It's part of my personality....and it's how I give emphasis to things that I feel need the emphasis.

You know me, I just sit down and start typing. I say the first thing that comes to my mind usually, regardless of how straight forward/blunt, or offensive it may be.

sanity is not my strong suite

Sometimes I feel a lot more sane around you people, and then I think about my mushroom porn, and I feel a little bit crazier.

For those of you who don't know, Mushroom Porn is my comic. Found at http://mushroomporn.blogspot.com it's about these little creatures who live in mushrooms in the forest. They can lick the mushrooms and get high. But the mushrooms are picky, and throw the creatures out if it's not their day to lick them.

And these creatures....they have dingy balls on their heads that viberate when they get a good idea. Or thinking in general, actually. I'm drawing more right now, which is why I'm thinking of it.

If anybody wants to know when I'm updating, please send an email to:

mushroomporn@squishedlizard.net and I'll make sure to update you.

Yesterday I got the idea to take green little army men and glue them to my ceiling with super glue. So I did. I have little battles going on on my ceiling and the door frame of my closet. It's slightly amusing if you look at it...this one guy with a grenade is getting fucking worked over left and right. I need to buy more though. Yeah, waste of money, blah blah blah, but it's fun to look up and see this chaotic battle.

I want a reality show...I want me and Frank to live in a house with cameras all over the place. I think it'd be fucking hillarious. We're already a bit eccentric and do weird shit...it's just with cameras all over, other people would get to see it.

Oh, so I watched Roll Bounce earlier. Good fucking flick. Well, the plot kinda sucks, but the skating is good. Not all of it was good though. Just some of it. I mean, shit. I can do almost everything I saw in that movie. Including the sumersaults that land on your skates. The one I can't do is a triple lux, and the sit spin. Those are fucking hard. I spent 3 hours last Saturday trying the sit spin. But either way, I know I'm good at skating, and I'd keep improving if I was in a place where they had more skaters. I want a coach. I really do.

There is a competition coming up, and my solo routine I'm combining belly dancing, and hip hop with skating, and hat tricks. ^_^ It'll be awesome. If I get down to the nationals in the summer, I'll make sure to send ya'll a vid.

Late one night a car was swerving all over the road. A police
officer pulled them over and went up to the vehicle. He then
noticed it was the local preacher, Father McBrian. The officer
then asked him why he was swerving all over the road. He said
he wasn't.

The officer immediately asked him, "Father, have you been
drinking?" "No..." replied Father.

"Is that liquor in your bottle there Father?" suggested the
officer. "No it's just water" answered Father.

The officer took it and smelled it. He then said "Father this
is wine."

Father then burst "Praise the Lord, He's Done It Again!"

Frank.

You're not batting on a full wicket.

how do snails mate?

Some snails are hermaphrodites, producing both spermatozoa and ova. Others, such as Apple Snails, are either male or female. Prolific breeders, snails in pairs inseminate each other to internally fertilize their ova. Each brood may consist of up to 100 eggs.

Garden snails bury their eggs in shallow topsoil primarily while the weather is warm and damp. After 2 to 4 weeks of favorable weather, these eggs hatch and the young emerge. Snails may lay eggs as often as once a month.

- Wikipedia

The two to six hour marathon session that is snail copulation is actually an exchange of sperm between two individuals, combined with plenty of rubbing, biting and 'eye-stalk' waving. What makes some snail species particularly interesting to Dr. Chase is their use of 'love darts' during copulation. About one third of snail species manufacture hard, sharp darts which they 'fire' at the object of their affections (i.e. other snails). "The love dart phenomenon has been documented in the literature as far back as the mid-17th century," noted Dr. Chase.

"Love dart snails were known to the ancient Greeks, and it wouldn't be surprising to find that they influenced the creation of the cupid myth".

Dr. Chase became intrigued with snails' 'love darts.'

"It was incorrectly believed that these darts were a nuptial gift of calcium —a major constituent of snail shells—from one snail to another. Like a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates in humans," explained Dr. Chase. "Another belief was that the dart was intended to arouse the receiver and indicate the shooters readiness to mate."

Research conducted by Dr. Chase has uncovered the real reason for dart shooting in snails, and the truth is much more sinister than previously thought.

The answer lies in Darwin's theory of sexual selection. Basically, snails want to reproduce as much as possible. Snails that have a way of ensuring that their sperm, rather than another's, is used to fertilize eggs will therefore sire more offspring. This is known as sperm competition.

- McGill Tribune

omg omg omg omg

I found all my music, I found all my music, I found all my music. When I reinstalled windows, I thought I lost it all, but I just found it! It was hidden! OMG OMG OMG!!! I'm so thrilled!!!!

Wow, I'm a geek.

Oh, yeah, speaking of, I spent time with my two favourite nerds today. Derfus and I watched Catwoman, Napolean Dynomite, Independance Day, and uhm that other one, oh, part of Girl With A Pearl Earring. Then Derfus, Frank and I watched End of Days. Well, I fell asleep, and I think Fred did too, but just the same.

End of Days I've seen like 10 times. I love that movie, and absolutely adore Gabriel Byrne.

Napolean Dynomite....well, I don't get it. I think it's generally retarded and I don't see most of the humor in it. On top of that it had absolutely zero plot whatsoever.

Catwoman was, well, Bleh. Bad graphics. Sucky plot. I didn't like Halle Barry too much. I've seen

Independance Day enough times that I could recite most parts of it.

And Girl With A Pearl Earring was just as good as I had expected from what I had seen. I loved the book. Absolutely loved it, and the movie stayed close to it. It brought me a bit of surprised joy when they showed the painting at the end of the movie and Fred says "That's a pretty cool painting."

I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately, and I really am fortunate. I have been learning a lot of lessons this past year that most people in their 40's don't even have figured out. I feel very fortunate for everything I have, and even for the things that were "taken" from me. Even the bad moments have given me wisdom. I have learned a lot about myself this past year, and I would have prefered to learn a lot of it in other ways.

I am very pleased to be so blessed as to have such wonderful people in my life, and to be so fortunate as to have my intelligence, (such as it is) creativity, compassion, boundries, and strength. Without these qualities, I feel as though I would be lost.

I have finally started to realize my own potential and my good qualities. I have always known on some level that I had good qualities. But I haven't seen them before recently. It's a nice change compared to how I used to be.

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