Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing
corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big
multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and
cultural differences. For example...

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la.
Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after
thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite
the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending
on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters
and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which
can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with
the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your
ancestors back from the dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan
"finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling
Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking
Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free
and empty."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America,
it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go."
After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars,
it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped.
The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny
male genitals". Ford pried all the nameplates off and
substituted Corcel, which means horse.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads
were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and
embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the
spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said
that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the
spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the
desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I
Saw the Potato."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to
make a tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish
translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared
on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It
takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada
as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means
"big breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not
have a noticeable effect on sales.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name
of a notorious porno mag.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the
name into Schweppes Toilet Water.

Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it
entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests
for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of
Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.

and finally...

In an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly
continental breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to
extoll the drink's eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence,
the slogan, "Orange juice. It gets your pecker up."

By the way, these are all true!

regression?

I was reading through my blog a few minutes ago, and I was writing at one point about how this one asshole kept coming back into my life, over, and over, and over, and was making me miserable.

Kudos to me! I haven't spoken to him in a month! Maybe I'm massochistic. I keep thinking "Maybe I'll see how he's doing" but then I think about it and I think about how nice it is to have my life relativly drama free, with the exception of work. I think I like this, and I intend on keeping it this way for as long as possible. It is kind of hard still though, since he was such a part of my life for so long.

Another person who was / is very important to me, has gone so far as to withdraw himself from my life. I think that's what he wanted all along. He'd tell me he loves me and cares about me, and then I wouldn't talk to him for 3 months. He'd come and go out of whim. He said he wanted to be part of my life, and then would make no attempt to be part of my life. Almost as though he'd go out of his way not to be part of it. Kind of an interesting dynamic with that one, because I sacrificed so much for him.

Things with J are better off this way. In the end, I wouldn't have been happy with him. At one point I thought I would have married him, but our relationship was so ambigious, it was kind of hard to define it in the sense of long term commitment. He upsets me though...he'll still randomly pop into my life with a poem, or a story, or just to tell me he loves me. It's hard. Even though we don't speak anymore, I know he loves me, and misses me, and thinks of me often. I know he's fine, without actually having been told anything. It's very odd.

Thinking back on it, I'm glad, that things worked out the way they did. I still love him, but I'm definately not in love with him. If I were still with him, I definately wouldn't have met Mike, who is just....amazing, to me. He's so beautiful. I've never been this happy with somebody before. It is a nice change. It's a very welcome change to be with somebody who actually gets me, and appreciates me, and loves me for who I am, AND is such a great person. I definately did not expect this.

Bali Festivals

Every 6 months in accordance with the Hindu calendar, Balinese Hindus celebrate Galungan and Kuningan festivals to celebrate the triumph of good over evil. Photos by AP.

My weekend

Michael and I went up to Buffalo for the weekend. It was an interesting time. Ashley went with us. One of his friends of many years. I had a blast. We went up to see his friend Josh. Went to a party for a little bit. One of Josh's friends is here from Germany, and another friend, Ricky, flew in from Las Vegas. After the party, we went out to a few bars. We all got trashed. Gordon's on Deleware was absolutely packed. It was kind of a cool place. Good energy. I like it. Very cool vibes there. And they have Frank Sinatra posters.

While we were at Gordon's this drug dealer who looks like Willow kept buying shots. Josh would buy us all some shots, and then Willow would buy us all shots. It was a game, and Willow definately won. He opened his wallet and he had nothing but 20's. I think Josh dropped between $50 and $100. Which, interestingly enough, doesn't affect his finances at all. He told me what he makes. He makes a lot of money. Pays his bills, and then just pisses through the rest. He's got like $19 in his savings account lol. I wish I had that luxury.

After Gordon's we went to this ghetto bar on the west side called Rendevuez. That was a lot of fun lol. Mike and I made friends with this black chick named Carla. She's 37, her daughter is 21, and Carla has 4 grandchildren. The eldest is 4 years old. She was a lot of fun. She kept telling me and Mike that we needed to get married and have kids because we are such a good couple. It was really cute. Then these black guys were trying to teach Mike how to dance like a thug lmao. It was fucking hillarious. This guy was over there doing all these moves, and trying to get Mike to do it, and Mike was just standing there staring at him. He didn't get it at all. It's beyond his comprehension.

I had 2 shots of tequila, 2 shots of black house, 2 shots of zwack, 1 shot of peppermint something or other, 1 bloody brain, 2 beers, and a gin and tonic.

Zwack was interesting. Tasted kind of fruity, and kind of like jagermeister, but not as terrible. I actually kinda liked it. It's apricot brandy. Yum.

The bloody brain was really fucking good. I loved that. I'm definately going to have that again. You take the peach schnapps and pour it into the glass, then float irish creame over the top, and then some grenadine, very slowly. It looks like a brain, in liquid, that's bleeding. It's really fucking yummy. It has a weird texture though when you shoot it back. It's definately kind of creamy, but the cream has started to solidify, so it feels kind of odd. Love it though. Absolutely love it.

And I wonder why I felt like shit all day Saturday lol. Actually, I don't really remember Saturday. I only remember select parts of it. And they're hazy. Pretty much everything past 3pm on Saturday is gone. It's pretty bad lol.