Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I was laying under the stars tonight, feeling, thinking, talking. I told him things I have never told him before. The big things. How I feel about the stars...and clouds. I love looking at the stars, feeling as though I am one of them. Feeling as if I am but a blip on their radar screen. I have always dreamed of the stars whisking me away with them, floating away from all of this on a cloud. I feel rejuvinated when I am under the stars. Calm, serene, comforted, and content. The stars make me angry, frusterated, and annoyed, however, because they remind me of how I cannot just float away. I dream of the clouds sweeping me up, and taking me with them, only to drop me off wherever they deam worthy; wherever they feel is a good place to let me go. If I could, I would pack my brownish canvas bag with a few clothes, little money, and my journal, and just wander aimlessly...see where I end up. Just go away, and never come back. I used to dream that I was being escorted through the world by a dark mage. He went away, however, when I moved here, and hasn't yet returned. I have dreamed that he is beckoning to the people that need him, the lost, found, and curious souls of the world, the way he once beckoned me.