amuse yourself

Office work dull?

None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?

Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty
basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative
execution

ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan
out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one
other'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time) When
they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee
into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the
first five people who say 'good morning' to you Phone someone
in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just
called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of
a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" Leave your zipper
open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I
really prefer it this way" Walk sideways to the photcopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the
doors open

THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, "I like your style" and
shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at
a fellow employee then ask "Did you get All that, I don't want
to have to repeat it" Page yourself over the intercom (do not
disguise your voice) Kneel in front of the water cooler and
drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player'
within sight). Shout random numbers while someone is counting

FIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for
once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the
national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it
yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they
watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off
10 times For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
do number two" After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad
Jamacian accent,as in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep
this up for one hour While an office mate is out, move their
chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation,
slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damm it,
all of you just shut up!" At lunchtime, get down on your knees
and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry
again". In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look
in tights" Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask
"You wanna trade?" Repeat the following conversation 10 times
to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind,
it's gone now" Come to work in army fatigues and when asked
why, say, "I can' talk about it" Posing as a maitre d', call a
colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local
resturant. Let him go Speak with an accent (French, German,
Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call. Find
the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk Hang a two-foot
long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act
genuinely surprised when someone points it out. Rollerblade
around the floor throwing sweets.