Merry Fucking Christmas

Merry Fucking Christmas - Denis Leary

Old St. Nick's got bourbon breath,
It's so cold you could catch your death,
A cop just sold me crystal meth,
It's a Merry F#%$In' Christmas!

Everything's so Christmas-y,
The streets are twinkling with frozen pee,
My priest just sat on Santa's Knee,
It's a Merry F#%$In' Christmas!

All the kids go to bed each night,
To dream what Santa brings 'em.
Unless they're Jewish or Muslim
Or some other gyp religion.

Crappy toys flying off the shelf,
Midgets dressed up to look like elves,
Spread good cheer or burn in Hell,
It's a Merry F#%$In' Christmas!

All the kids go to bed each night,
To dream what Santa brings 'em.
Unless they're Jewish or Muslim
Or some other gyp religion.

Cracklin' fires to keep me warm,
And my collection of Asian porn,
Cradle my bells and work my horn,
It's a keep-on-trucking,
Last-year's-sucking
Midget-chucking,
Slap-the-puck-in,
How-much-wood-could-a-woodchuck-chucking
Merry F#%$In' Christmas!