Bouncing Bovine - Lesson 5
"Without other people, no one would ever improve to self actualization."
My dearest confessor.
There was something I was supposed to learn, and I needed to grow. This whole event has sparked a change in me. I have found out a lot about myself, and I feel better. I feel better than I did a year ago. I have learned to listen to myself. I learned to listen to my inner voice. Which isn't even really a voice. My inner voice, which may be different from your inner voice, and Frank's inner voice, and Mom's inner voice, doesn't actually have words. But none-the-less, it is a voice because I can hear it, and I learn from it. It's how I know, without knowing. When all is still, and reality goes beyond my comprehension, I close my eyes, and I can see something, so intense, and so bright, and I just *know* what it is I'm supposed to do. Words are innadequate in describing the warmth, and the power of this voice. It tells me things, without words.
How do you take words, which are so meaningless, and mundane, and inadequate, and use them to describe something so powerful, and so overwhelming? How do you describe the light you see that consumes you, when you close your mind, throw your thoughts in the dumpster, and just focus on being? How do you describe reality? Emotion? Love? Passion?
Synonyms for describe are: narrate, recite, recount, relate, report. But they aren't adequate. The english language seems to be incapable of describing what I feel, and what fuels me. No matter how many words I learn, no matter how many new words a day I learn, I feel incapable of describing passion, reality, love, emotion in a way that is actually adequate. I can't, realistically, explain my inner voice. I can't explain it, and guarantee you'll understand.
But please don't berage me with all the pesky questions to my lack of answers.
Someone said to me earlier that I seem to have all the answers, but I don't. I know that. I'd be a fool to think that I did. I have no answers. I have theories. I have opinions. I have no answers. The questions that I ask, the things I desire knowledge about, might be things that I can't get answers to.
Colleges don't teach you that there sometimes are no answers. Sometimes, you just are. Sometimes you can just be, without knowing why, or how, or to what point and purpose. But you don't learn this in school, unless you're lucky, and have one hell of a teacher.
"College is about learning how to find the doors inside yourself so you can continue to grow. Edward ...Jake...Me... we all stagnate you I think. All of us hold you down to our level because you are so fucking amazing. So fucking amazing and beyond what we think we can accomplish, that ... well you know. We've had these talks before. Fuck my misery. Fuck his misery. That's not your problem."
My dearest confessor.
There was something I was supposed to learn, and I needed to grow. This whole event has sparked a change in me. I have found out a lot about myself, and I feel better. I feel better than I did a year ago. I have learned to listen to myself. I learned to listen to my inner voice. Which isn't even really a voice. My inner voice, which may be different from your inner voice, and Frank's inner voice, and Mom's inner voice, doesn't actually have words. But none-the-less, it is a voice because I can hear it, and I learn from it. It's how I know, without knowing. When all is still, and reality goes beyond my comprehension, I close my eyes, and I can see something, so intense, and so bright, and I just *know* what it is I'm supposed to do. Words are innadequate in describing the warmth, and the power of this voice. It tells me things, without words.
How do you take words, which are so meaningless, and mundane, and inadequate, and use them to describe something so powerful, and so overwhelming? How do you describe the light you see that consumes you, when you close your mind, throw your thoughts in the dumpster, and just focus on being? How do you describe reality? Emotion? Love? Passion?
Synonyms for describe are: narrate, recite, recount, relate, report. But they aren't adequate. The english language seems to be incapable of describing what I feel, and what fuels me. No matter how many words I learn, no matter how many new words a day I learn, I feel incapable of describing passion, reality, love, emotion in a way that is actually adequate. I can't, realistically, explain my inner voice. I can't explain it, and guarantee you'll understand.
But please don't berage me with all the pesky questions to my lack of answers.
Someone said to me earlier that I seem to have all the answers, but I don't. I know that. I'd be a fool to think that I did. I have no answers. I have theories. I have opinions. I have no answers. The questions that I ask, the things I desire knowledge about, might be things that I can't get answers to.
Colleges don't teach you that there sometimes are no answers. Sometimes, you just are. Sometimes you can just be, without knowing why, or how, or to what point and purpose. But you don't learn this in school, unless you're lucky, and have one hell of a teacher.
"College is about learning how to find the doors inside yourself so you can continue to grow. Edward ...Jake...Me... we all stagnate you I think. All of us hold you down to our level because you are so fucking amazing. So fucking amazing and beyond what we think we can accomplish, that ... well you know. We've had these talks before. Fuck my misery. Fuck his misery. That's not your problem."
posted by squishedlizard at 9:00 AM
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