Whatever would I be, without you in my life?

The display of Christmas lights on my street reminded me that Christmas is coming up soon. I have already done a little bit of Christmas-Gift-Giving Preperation. Teeheehee. It had occured to me I still need to send out my Christmas Cards from last year. It all boils down to this one very true, very simple fact: I'm really fucking lazy. I bought the cards. I filled them out. I put the date on them, December 2003. I addressed the envelopes. All 50 of them or so. And then I just never took them to the post office. They're still sitting in my room somewhere. Hm. I meant to send them at the 4th of July, but something came up. Anyway, I have lots of different people to send the cards to this year. Or deliver, as I am lacking some addresses.

I love Christmas. I don't particularly like receiving presants, but I love giving presants. I wish I had more money, so I could give more. I like making people happy. I like seeing joy on their faces. I like making people laugh, or smile...like 3 christmases ago when I gave Frank 222 cough drops....or when I gave my younger brother Joey a sugar rush. (I have him somewhere in the range of 5 pounds candy) I like watching people laugh, and have fun opening my elaborate packages. Frank....muwahaha. 222 cough drops, that was fun. I was shopping with my step-mother, and I told her I was going to buy Frank 1 gross of cough drops...222 individual cough drops (If I had more money, I would have given 222 packages, but alas...as it is, I cleaned out K-Mart's Cough Drop selection, and the grocery store). I went through the aisles grabbing bag, after bag, after bag, of cough drops. I got the cheap ones. The expensive ones. The lemon ones. The green tea ones. The cherry ones. You name it, I got it.

Then I went home, and I individually wrapped each and every cough drop package. I put 5 packages in a shoe box. Filled the shoe box with packing peanuts (or something like that), wrapped the shoe box. 4 got wrapped in their own box, and then the box was wrapped. A bunch went into gift bags. Etc etc. I believe I gave him, in total, 12 boxes/bags to open to receive all of his cough drops. See, the cough drops were an inside joke....we never told any of the.....1, 2, 3, hm.... 6 or 7 parental units about it, but it stems back to a converstaion we had earlier in the month when he was talking about this sex trick where you go down on a woman with a cough drop. It's supposed to be stimulating, or something like that. (personally, I don't buy it, but hey...to each his own) See, I'm a bit of a bitch. A nice bitch most of the time, but a bitch nonetheless. My idea behind this gift was to give him 222 cough drops.... 1 gross of cough drops on the assumption he will never use that many cough drops. Unfortunately for me, I didn't clarify what he would never use those cough drops for, and well, he ended up getting sick that year, so they ended up coming in handy, but hey...

Every year, the family goes over to my grandparent's, Frank's house (for those of you that don't understand the connection, it's long, elaborate, and makes my family sound like a bunch of inbred hicks), for Christmas Eve dinner. We all go to Christmas Eve Midnight Mass (the one time a year I go to church), and then go back to the house for a big spaghetti dinner. There's a minimum of 15 people in the house. Usually it floats between 25 and 35. We eat dinner around 3am, and then all the grandkids, myself included, open their presants from the grandparents. This is also where everyone gives gifts to the grandparents, uncles, etc. After church we were all back at the house. I was wearing my flowing black velvet pants, with my loose black velvet shirt, black heals, pearls, and my turquoise bracelet. (yeah, I dressed up...that only happens when I go to Christmas Eve mass, the ballet, the opera, or if I have a very expensive date) After everyone gathers into the living room, I walk over to the tree, trip over the bottom of my pants, fall on my face, and gather his packages. I manage to make my way back to the sofa...10 feet away, without falling (go me!) and set them at his feet. With the first package, he laughed. Second, he laughed.....and as it went on, he laughed more. I think it took about 10 or 15 minutes to open all of them, and if I recall correctly, he still had cough drops at this time last year.

I enjoyed that. I really did. Frank never smiles. Or very rarely.

Hm, on a more somber note... I told someone the other night I don't want to marry him. He said he loves me, and he should have married me a long time ago. He proposed to me...again. It was kind of awkward. It always is when someone gets down on bended knee and says, "I love you. Will you marry me?" No matter how many times it happens, it's still awkward. I had to be honest, however, I don't love him...not sure if I ever did. We haven't been together in about 2..5 years, and we had a messy breakup. He couldn't have expect more than that.

"Ah, but I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you've got to watch out for because you never know when they'll do something quite stupid." --Sorry....couldn't resist!