Read Frank at http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=shirawolf
^ Me and Frank, Christmas 2001. (I've changed a lot since then...so has he, actually) I was living with his parents that year, my grandparents. His mom, my grandmom, says we look like twins, and this picture is "proof" or something fucked up like that. In those boxes we had huge matching bears. Frank received a hammer set since he wants to go into forging swords, and I received...what did I get? Oh, gourmet cooking oils. Chili oil, balsamic oil, garlic oil, ginger oil, and the such. This picture is titled "twins.jpg" We do look very similar though. We're the same age, with the same natural hair color, and skin tones, etc. It's kinda freaky... One year our nasty evil cousin was visiting, and he was driving us nuts. He's a red-headed step-child, which I find funny as hell knowing that Uncle Mike has a red-headed step-child... it has been a long running joke in the family. He was there...he's probably 2 years younger than me, but annoying as all hell. He's a mama's boy, and nobody in the family likes him, but we put up with him because Mike married the bastard's mother. Anyway, one year, it was in the summer, he was being a little shit and throwing things into the pool like towels and the such... later, upstairs, we were playing video games, and we managed (without any physical contact) convinced him, and my little brother who was also annoying that day, that we were actually twins, and Frank's mom gave my mom me, because Mom lost her baby durring birth.
Frank was and is my best friend. When the red-headed-step-child was there, we would go sit on the roof because that was the only place we could get away from him. After convincing him we were twins, we convinced him, and my brother, that we were lovers, and we wanted to get them into an orgy. We didn't have any physical contact or anything, which just goes to show how well we pulled it off.
fermaylabush: yeah we pulled both on jr at the same time if I remember
squished lizard: yeah, that's what I thought.
fermaylabush: something like "yeah dude we're twins"
"how could you sleep together than"
"Well its like masturbation but better"
squished lizard: lmfao
squished lizard: ew
squished lizard: I remember that.
fermaylabush: yeah that was a good day
We take responsibility for my brother being as fucked up as he is. He was driving us insane for his entire life. Ever since he was born, pretty much. We were 10 years old when we wanted to freak him out about a murder happening at my house, which was out in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. So we made a paper mache bone. We covered it with fake blood, which we learned how to make because my mother made it for her EMT students, and we burried it in the leaves in the apple orchard. We ran back into the house which was a few acres away, and we said, "JOEY! JOEY! COME LOOK AT WHAT WE FOUND!!!" intending on freaking him out... we dragged him out to the orchard, just in time to see the neighbors dog run off with the bone.
fermaylabush: thats something to put on a resume "once made a paper mache bone so realistic that a dog ran off with it before we could toture child"
While I was living with Frank, we spent a lot of time on the computer. Or really, I was on the computer chatting, and Frank was next to me making comments on what I was saying to my supposed friends. It was going well, and THEN, we found the video camera. The video camera, webcamera, soon became our best friend, and the way to kill murderless time at 4am on a school night. (I didn't sleep when I was in New York... maybe an hour a night....maybe 2...it was worth it) We would take the webcam into Sobe bottles, and under the computer desk, which was very messy...lots o dustbunnies....
We did some fucked up things. We went to the Sterling Renn Faire once....4 years ago....the night before it, we stayed up, ALL NIGHT LONG, on one hell of a sugar rush, and invented a language we affectionally called "Wenslowian." We went through gallons of that powdered lemonade shit.... sitting in the kitchen, and taking names off of a map, rearranging the letters, and making our own little language. It was cute, and we even spoke in it for a while because it pissed off Joey, and I was never good at Opp-Talk, or Pig Latin, for that matter, but Pig Latin was fun. Anyway, we lost the papers for Wenslowian, sadly. We get to the Renn Faire, and people are walking around in Three Muskateer's Suits, and armor, and wench costumes...and beggers... you name it. We were just walking around, seeing the sites, which wasn't very impressive, and a man walks up next to us, with pretzles on a stick. Hot pretzles. Yummy, I'm sure. He was walking around screaming, "TWISTED PRETZLES!!! Get your twisted pretzles! Don't you want to be twisted?! TWISTED PEOPLE HAVE MORE FUN." Frank and I were next to him at the time, and we looked at each other, and nodded in agreement. He turned to us, and asked me if I wanted a pretzle, and I said, "No thanks." He shook his stick above my head, and salt fell down upon me, and he said, "You have just been 'asalted.' TWISTED PRETZLES! Don't you want to be TWISTED? TWISTED PEOPLE HAVE MORE FUN...." as he went on his merry way.
Halloween was always fun at the Wenslow house. We usually did something to scare Joey. A few years back we talked his parents into going away, so we had the house in total darkness, and Joey came over. Walking up the stairs from the basement after letting Joey in, I ran up, and hid around the corner to where the bathroom is... Joey walked up, slowly, carefully, calling my name, and I reached out, every-so-carefully, and grabbed his ankle. He screamed, and jumped a mile, and fell backwards on Frank. If Frank wasn't there, Joey would have gone tumbling down the stairs to the concrete doom below. We continued on up to the 3rd floor to Frank's little room/living area...walking up the stairs, Frank just vanished. Not even I knew where he was. I was walking up in front of Joey, and Joey was a few steps behind me. Then suddenly out of nowhere, Frank jumps down from the landing, and lands right between me and Joey, and starts growling. lmfao. Joey screamed and fell down the stairs. He didn't get hurt, and 3 minutes later he was laughing about it, but I could have sworn he pissed his pants.
Ah, halloween... I was going to go as a pirate wench, but fuck that. I'm going gypsy.....
LOL. Operation Imitation Poo. We combined a whole bunch of shit together, cocoa, toothpaste, soap, flour, butter....you name it, and put it in a tupperware container, and named it, Operation Imitation Poo. Sadly, however, it wouldn't settle, so we stuck it in the snow, and it was very solid, but very jello-like at the same time. Creepy stuff. We hid it behind some books in the office. This was at least 3 years ago. Frank tells me his mom found it.
fermaylabush: well operation imitation poo is standing still
squished lizard: Really?
fermaylabush: ma found the bowl. and it stunk like soap
squished lizard: Is it stinky?
squished lizard: lol
squished lizard: lmfao
fermaylabush: and now the bowl stinks like soap
fermaylabush: so we can't eat out of it
squished lizard: lmfao
squished lizard: what did we put in it?
fermaylabush: so she threw it out
squished lizard: aw
fermaylabush: I think it was old tupperware
squished lizard: yeah
fermaylabush: yeah so we will have to remake it in gladware without the recipe cause I don't remember where I stashed that
I think it was inspired by the glass of nasty chocolate milk that Frank set on top of a bookshelf and 6 months later, it had turned rock hard, and wouldn't come out of the glass, so we launched it into the neighbors yard.
^ Me and Frank, Christmas 2001. (I've changed a lot since then...so has he, actually) I was living with his parents that year, my grandparents. His mom, my grandmom, says we look like twins, and this picture is "proof" or something fucked up like that. In those boxes we had huge matching bears. Frank received a hammer set since he wants to go into forging swords, and I received...what did I get? Oh, gourmet cooking oils. Chili oil, balsamic oil, garlic oil, ginger oil, and the such. This picture is titled "twins.jpg" We do look very similar though. We're the same age, with the same natural hair color, and skin tones, etc. It's kinda freaky... One year our nasty evil cousin was visiting, and he was driving us nuts. He's a red-headed step-child, which I find funny as hell knowing that Uncle Mike has a red-headed step-child... it has been a long running joke in the family. He was there...he's probably 2 years younger than me, but annoying as all hell. He's a mama's boy, and nobody in the family likes him, but we put up with him because Mike married the bastard's mother. Anyway, one year, it was in the summer, he was being a little shit and throwing things into the pool like towels and the such... later, upstairs, we were playing video games, and we managed (without any physical contact) convinced him, and my little brother who was also annoying that day, that we were actually twins, and Frank's mom gave my mom me, because Mom lost her baby durring birth.
Frank was and is my best friend. When the red-headed-step-child was there, we would go sit on the roof because that was the only place we could get away from him. After convincing him we were twins, we convinced him, and my brother, that we were lovers, and we wanted to get them into an orgy. We didn't have any physical contact or anything, which just goes to show how well we pulled it off.
fermaylabush: yeah we pulled both on jr at the same time if I remember
squished lizard: yeah, that's what I thought.
fermaylabush: something like "yeah dude we're twins"
"how could you sleep together than"
"Well its like masturbation but better"
squished lizard: lmfao
squished lizard: ew
squished lizard: I remember that.
fermaylabush: yeah that was a good day
We take responsibility for my brother being as fucked up as he is. He was driving us insane for his entire life. Ever since he was born, pretty much. We were 10 years old when we wanted to freak him out about a murder happening at my house, which was out in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. So we made a paper mache bone. We covered it with fake blood, which we learned how to make because my mother made it for her EMT students, and we burried it in the leaves in the apple orchard. We ran back into the house which was a few acres away, and we said, "JOEY! JOEY! COME LOOK AT WHAT WE FOUND!!!" intending on freaking him out... we dragged him out to the orchard, just in time to see the neighbors dog run off with the bone.
fermaylabush: thats something to put on a resume "once made a paper mache bone so realistic that a dog ran off with it before we could toture child"
While I was living with Frank, we spent a lot of time on the computer. Or really, I was on the computer chatting, and Frank was next to me making comments on what I was saying to my supposed friends. It was going well, and THEN, we found the video camera. The video camera, webcamera, soon became our best friend, and the way to kill murderless time at 4am on a school night. (I didn't sleep when I was in New York... maybe an hour a night....maybe 2...it was worth it) We would take the webcam into Sobe bottles, and under the computer desk, which was very messy...lots o dustbunnies....
We did some fucked up things. We went to the Sterling Renn Faire once....4 years ago....the night before it, we stayed up, ALL NIGHT LONG, on one hell of a sugar rush, and invented a language we affectionally called "Wenslowian." We went through gallons of that powdered lemonade shit.... sitting in the kitchen, and taking names off of a map, rearranging the letters, and making our own little language. It was cute, and we even spoke in it for a while because it pissed off Joey, and I was never good at Opp-Talk, or Pig Latin, for that matter, but Pig Latin was fun. Anyway, we lost the papers for Wenslowian, sadly. We get to the Renn Faire, and people are walking around in Three Muskateer's Suits, and armor, and wench costumes...and beggers... you name it. We were just walking around, seeing the sites, which wasn't very impressive, and a man walks up next to us, with pretzles on a stick. Hot pretzles. Yummy, I'm sure. He was walking around screaming, "TWISTED PRETZLES!!! Get your twisted pretzles! Don't you want to be twisted?! TWISTED PEOPLE HAVE MORE FUN." Frank and I were next to him at the time, and we looked at each other, and nodded in agreement. He turned to us, and asked me if I wanted a pretzle, and I said, "No thanks." He shook his stick above my head, and salt fell down upon me, and he said, "You have just been 'asalted.' TWISTED PRETZLES! Don't you want to be TWISTED? TWISTED PEOPLE HAVE MORE FUN...." as he went on his merry way.
Halloween was always fun at the Wenslow house. We usually did something to scare Joey. A few years back we talked his parents into going away, so we had the house in total darkness, and Joey came over. Walking up the stairs from the basement after letting Joey in, I ran up, and hid around the corner to where the bathroom is... Joey walked up, slowly, carefully, calling my name, and I reached out, every-so-carefully, and grabbed his ankle. He screamed, and jumped a mile, and fell backwards on Frank. If Frank wasn't there, Joey would have gone tumbling down the stairs to the concrete doom below. We continued on up to the 3rd floor to Frank's little room/living area...walking up the stairs, Frank just vanished. Not even I knew where he was. I was walking up in front of Joey, and Joey was a few steps behind me. Then suddenly out of nowhere, Frank jumps down from the landing, and lands right between me and Joey, and starts growling. lmfao. Joey screamed and fell down the stairs. He didn't get hurt, and 3 minutes later he was laughing about it, but I could have sworn he pissed his pants.
Ah, halloween... I was going to go as a pirate wench, but fuck that. I'm going gypsy.....
LOL. Operation Imitation Poo. We combined a whole bunch of shit together, cocoa, toothpaste, soap, flour, butter....you name it, and put it in a tupperware container, and named it, Operation Imitation Poo. Sadly, however, it wouldn't settle, so we stuck it in the snow, and it was very solid, but very jello-like at the same time. Creepy stuff. We hid it behind some books in the office. This was at least 3 years ago. Frank tells me his mom found it.
fermaylabush: well operation imitation poo is standing still
squished lizard: Really?
fermaylabush: ma found the bowl. and it stunk like soap
squished lizard: Is it stinky?
squished lizard: lol
squished lizard: lmfao
fermaylabush: and now the bowl stinks like soap
fermaylabush: so we can't eat out of it
squished lizard: lmfao
squished lizard: what did we put in it?
fermaylabush: so she threw it out
squished lizard: aw
fermaylabush: I think it was old tupperware
squished lizard: yeah
fermaylabush: yeah so we will have to remake it in gladware without the recipe cause I don't remember where I stashed that
I think it was inspired by the glass of nasty chocolate milk that Frank set on top of a bookshelf and 6 months later, it had turned rock hard, and wouldn't come out of the glass, so we launched it into the neighbors yard.
posted by squishedlizard at 12:18 AM
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