Monday, July 19, 2004

Your nephew is trying to talk me into buying him condoms....

The 13 year old: know what you can buy me?
squishedlizard: Already got you shit.
squishedlizard: Uhm....sometime on your birthday.
The 13 year old: well i need a box of condoms like the ones i stole from you
The 13 year old: i'm not fucking yet but just to have them ya know?
squishedlizard: LOL
squishedlizard: lmfao
squishedlizard: ask Frank.
The 13 year old: did
The 13 year old: he won't
squishedlizard: Shall we get you the flavored ones?
The 13 year old: do you like them?
squishedlizard: Why won't Frank do it? Probably for the same reason I won't.
The 13 year old: cuz if you do she might
The 13 year old: why won't you?
squishedlizard: What does it matter...if I like them....
squishedlizard: I am not going to support you having sex.
squishedlizard: Not that I think it's a bad idea...
squishedlizard: it's just...you're 13.
The 13 year old: i dunno i just wanna know if women like them
The 13 year old: so
The 13 year old: james lathem did it at 12
squishedlizard: I'm sure you are idolizing Johnny Depp...
The 13 year old: lol
squishedlizard: He's your hero.
squishedlizard: lol
squishedlizard: Ew.
squishedlizard: wait. I knew that.
The 13 year old: lol you told me that one
squishedlizard: Johnny D was 13.
squishedlizard: I'm proud of him. That takes talent.
The 13 year old: well then you can be proud of me
squishedlizard: Anyway, my point is, you're 13...honestly, your dick can't be too big. It's entirely possible she'll see it, and run away. (I'm not trying to be a bitch....it's just the facts of life)

You have been a very bad influence on the poor kid. He went on to tell me that he gets head, and/or a hand job every time he sees her, and he got a hand job in the movies the other night....HOW ICKY IS THIS?!?

Okay, I admit, it's no less icky that I have sex, but I'm not a 13 year old boy.

Current Mood: devious
Current Music: Big Bad VooDoo Daddy - Jump With My Baby

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